Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my
anxious thoughts.
—Psalm 139:23
“I should have company more often,” I heard myself say,
as I recounted to my friend my efforts to make my house presentable for my family
dinner.
I had stressed over hosting the event ever since my
siblings and I came up with the idea back in March—the idea of taking turns
hosting a dinner for all of us, including Mom and Dad. With October being my
month, I had seven months to get used to the idea of opening my home to
everyone. Usually, I don’t entertain. My house is small, which makes it
difficult to accommodate large groups. But there are other reasons. My house is
not in tip-top shape. All summer I agonized over what needed to be done before
my family came knocking: paint, install new flooring, yard work, clean the
siding, stain the deck, scrub the porch, and more. All summer I agonized over
not having the money, the energy, or the know-how to do it all. I realized that
some of the jobs had to be crossed off the list. But still, I wanted my house
to look nice for the get-together.