Matters of the Heart: Why are some prayer requests readily answered while others are not?

Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.

—Colossians 4:2

Long after the chocolate candy was depleted, I kept the heart-shaped container, a delightful box in a vintage pattern topped with a red lid and satin bow. I placed it in the center of the table and soon found myself jotting down prayer requests on slips of paper and dropping them inside. My daughters added their own matters of the heart. My friends also contributed to the collection.

Most of those requests were written in 2011. I still have the box and the tiny slips of paper remain inside. I kept them so I could check later to see if and how God responded.

My daughter Emma, a new high school graduate at the time, wrote: “Kimmie getting better from her surgery.”

Her classmate Kimmie had been diagnosed with ovarian cancer, stage 1.5. It was starting to spread and attach to other organs. She had surgery to remove a 4-pound tumor, along with one ovary and fallopian tube. Afterwards, Kimmie and her family wrestled with the decision to have chemotherapy or not. After much prayer, she opted for a holistic lifestyle change, which included a recovery diet that she implemented for three years. Today Kimmie is cancer-free, a mother of a sweet little girl, and expecting another child in a few months. Glory to God!

Another of Emma’s requests reads: “Meeting the right guy at college.” If you know Emma, you know that prayer was answered too. At the University of Valley Forge, Emma met Ricky, and they married in 2013.

Emma dropped in other requests, seemingly small compared to these just mentioned. But what matters to us matters to God. Her prayers to find a job at school (college) and to make new friends were also answered.

Rebekah too dropped in requests, although not as specific. Her concerns were for her “finances” and “direction after school (college).” I think her plea for finances related to paying for her last year of college. God made a way. She graduated in 2012 with her bachelor’s degree in music education and shortly thereafter began teaching.

As for me, I wrote to have my children’s book published by Zonderkidz and to find my husband. I requested time to write devotions for another book project and my blog.

One day my friend Alan, an artist who had created an inspirational illustration for my book, came to visit. He noticed the heart box on my table. After my explanation, he deposited his own requests: security and true love.

Some time later when I was leading a ladies small group, I pulled out the heart-shaped box and used it for an object lesson on hiding the Word in our hearts (Psalm 119:11). On a slip of paper I wrote the following verse and “hid” it in the heart: “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4).

During prayer time, I had the ladies write their requests on slips of paper that they placed in the heart box:

        “Be who God wants me to be.”

        “To know God more.”

        “A deeper honest relationship with God.”

I wrote mine too, a repeat of my previous requests: to have my book published by Zonderkidz and to find my mate. Now each of my requests was included in the box on two different slips of paper.

Were our prayers answered?

As for the ladies, only they can say. But my guess is “yes,” for the Word says, “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you” (James 5:8a).

One of my answers was a (nice) rejection letter from Zonderkidz, which led me to put my book on the shelf, so to speak. With setting my dream aside, I also lost touch with Alan.

In 2017, I was shocked to learn that Alan had passed away. Did he ever get his requests? I do not know the exact condition of Alan’s heart, but I do know that he had suffered many years in the valley of failing health and was confined to a wheelchair, and on that day of our visit he had reached out to our only source of hope, the Lord who promises (eternal) security for those whose heart is set on Him (Psalm 84:5-8). I trust that Alan is resting in the security of his eternal home with his true love.

As for my second request, well, most of you know that I have not married.

Have you ever wondered, like me, why some requests are readily answered while others are not?

The Bible says: “For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God” (1 Corinthians 2:11).

One day His Spirit may reveal to us why His answer was a ready “yes” or why it seemed to be “no,” but until then we can look to His Word for assurance about praying.

God wants us to pray; He delights in our prayers (Proverbs 15:8). “The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective” (James 5:16b).

He promises “that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him” (1 John 5:14-15).

We are called to pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17), to rejoice through it all (1 Thessalonians 5:16), and to be watchful and thankful (Colossians 4:2).

I think “watchful” is a key word. We must be alert to the things of God. Do our petitions align with His will? What are our motives? What is God doing in our heart in the waiting? Is our growth a better gift than a ready answer to our request?

God’s Word says, “No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly” (Psalm 84:11b).

If He withholds what we ask of Him, was it good?

Jesus said, “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!” (Matthew 7:7-11).

So what is going on if we have been asking, seeking, and knocking, and the door still has not opened? Perhaps the answer is in Jesus’s story. If we ask for bread, He will not give us a stone. A stone may look like a rounded loaf of bread, but it is not bread. We may be deceived in thinking something or someone is the answer to our prayers, but God sees and knows all. He knows a stone is not bread. Baking bread takes time. You must gather all the ingredients. Mix them together. Allow time for fermentation (rising). Punch down. Round. Let it rest. Mold. Proof. Finally bake. Then when it has cooled slightly, it is ready.

Perhaps God is baking our bread. And we are in the mix. What does He need to do in our hearts? Have we become puffed up and think we know it all, even how God should answer? Maybe He needs to “punch” us back down. Maybe He needs to do a little shaping and molding, a little proving of our faith in the process. Perhaps we need to be patient, to allow time for the bread to bake.

What if one of our requests causes a delay in answering another?

What if to give me time to write devotions, God knew I needed time alone?

What if we truly delight ourselves in the Lord?

We would find peace and fulfillment in Him and trust Him even if we haven’t seen the answer yet.

Dear Father, You are the giver of good things. Thank You for all the good You have blessed me with. I delight myself in You and know that You delight in my prayers. Therefore, I pour out my heart to You and trust You to answer, however and whenever You choose. Amen.

P. S. An update on my children’s book, The Prettiest Sight to See: A Story of the Holly Wreath: This past Christmas I used a website to publish the book myself. I gave the book as a gift to my granddaughter Addison (Addie), the namesake for the main character. I wrote the Christmas story about Grandma and Addie in 2008, four years before Addie was born. Her parents had never read or heard my story before deciding on her name. Glory to God for a prophetic rendering! He knew her name all along.

P. S. S. For more encouragement in the waiting, check out Danny Gokey’s song “Haven’t Seen It Yet.”