The Bride: What if happily ever after doesn’t happen?

Let us rejoice and be glad

and give him glory!

For the wedding of the Lamb has come,

and his bride has made herself ready.

—Revelation 19:7

As soon as I opened my eyes and realized the date, my mind traveled back 35 years to my wedding day, the start of what I dreamed would be a beautiful family life. I recalled a poem I wrote that described the reality:

One sunny morning on the fifth of May

A young maid hurries to prepare for her day

She borrows her mother’s gown, aged an off-white,

And the gown fits perfectly to the bride’s delight!

With a delicate veil, she covers her face.

Eyes full of hope shine through soft lace.

Her heart races as she slips into shoes that are new.

She completes the old adage with a garter of blue.

A bouquet of pink roses she holds in her hand

While her attendants of three around her stand.

She takes that step that will change her life

As she walks down the aisle to become his wife.

A decade later on a sunny May morn

The bride wears a gown that is tattered and worn.

Three little children are her attendants this day.

Her bouquet has faded, and the groom is away.

Tears fill her eyes as she recalls that day

When she borrowed a gown on the fifth of May.

After many years, the heartache is old, nothing is new,

He has forgotten again, and the bride is blue.

Shortly after the poem was penned, my marriage ended, as so many others do.

 

She borrows her mother's gown, aged an off-white,
And the gown fits perfectly to the bride's delight!

Cares and Hairs

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

—Matthew 10:29-31 

I saw it fall.  

Right there in front of me the striking blue blossom loosened its grip on the orchid’s stem and floated to a landing in the center of my kitchen table. 

“Aww…” I moaned, pausing from my work just a moment to mourn the demise of my gorgeous centerpiece. 

Then I returned to the task at hand—tidying up the kitchen. But I left the blossom there. Maybe because it matched my mood. My kitchen table once decorated with smiling faces at each place was now set with piles of bills and a fading flower in its midst. 

A speck of green on the bench caught my attention. As I leaned down, I realized it was a tiny hair band. 

That’s where that got to. I remembered earlier in the week I had picked up my pony-tailed two-year-old granddaughter Addie from day care, and she wasn’t at my house long before the pony-tail disappeared. 

Near in the New Year

“When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.”—Psalm 94:19

It’s one of my favorite Christmas gifts—a handmade (with the help of technology) 2013 “Addison” calendar. On the cover my 10 month-old granddaughter holds a 2013 sign, her big blue eyes wide with wonder.

Flipping each page of the calendar sporting a picture of Addie taken in the same month of 2012, I recall those precious moments—her debut in February; her first Easter in March; Mother’s Day when my whole family gathered for a photo on the church steps. And the summer months when I took care of Addie while her parents worked.

I remember cradling Addie in the crook of my arm, rocking in the old porch rocker, both of us lulled by the sounds of the morning, birds chirping, bullfrogs croaking, and a tractor chugging in the distance.  Addie’s curious blue eyes brightened, as she babbled in response.   I remember trail walks, Addie strapped snug in her stroller, mesmerized by bright green foliage and yellow butterflies, soothed by the rhythm of the carriage. I remember car rides that without fail calmed Addie to sleep. I came to know Addie’s cries, signaling food, sleep, or attention. I knew what would make her smile and gurgle and what would comfort her. Except for one day.