Beyond the Door

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.”

—Matthew 7:7-8

I cried when my closest colleague told me she was retiring. They should have been tears of joy for her, but honestly they were tears of sorrow for myself. Roz and I had worked together for 10 years, both of us high school CTE (Career and Technology Education) teachers. At least seven of those years, we occupied adjoining classrooms. I don’t know why the rooms were designed with a shared door, nor do I know of any similar setups in the building, but I do know it was designed just right for us. Being next to each other in our secluded wing of the building gave us the opportunity to get to know each other on a deeper level. Early communication revealed that we shared the Christian faith. Soon we were praying together in the mornings before school began. While at first we prayed for our school, our students, and the day before us, in time our petitions evolved to personal matters. Roz and I learned we had so much more in common than our faith. We were both career changers, each of us having worked in the world of business before becoming teachers. Each of us had also dabbled in the dramatic arts in our younger days. We were both faithful churchgoers and at the time we were both church treasurers, collaborating even on church accounting software. We had granddaughters born within weeks of each other. Later our daughters gave birth to preemies, each early delivery a result of the same condition. Together, we rejoiced; together we cried. I shared private concerns with Roz that I have shared with no other, except the Lord. I knew I could trust Roz to keep everything in confidence. I also knew I could rely on her to give wise advice. No matter the situation, Roz would come through for me, whether an idea for an assignment, a prayer, advice, or her comforting presence. All I had to do was knock. Help was just beyond the door.

A Valentine Surprise

“Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure.”

—Psalm 16:9

I told her “no.”

But here I was, two hours later, asking myself, Do you really want to spend Valentine’s night alone? I already knew the answer, but I worried about the impending winter storm. Should I really travel the distance in my car with malfunctioning heat? All the newscasters were warning viewers of the dangerous “feels like” temperatures.

But it’s sunny now. Leave while there’s still daylight, and you’ll keep warm in the sun, I tried to convince myself, And dress in layers and bring a blanket and pray.

But I should stay and work more on my writing, I argued.

I had just finished the Afterword for the devotional I was writing. Now I was scrolling through the Facebook news feed, trying hard not to envy all my friends who were spending Valentine’s with their sweethearts and showing off their lovely bouquets of roses.

I had hoped this year would be different for me, for God knows I've prayed about my situation over and over again. One of the hardest parts about being single—and an empty-nester—is not getting hugs on a regular basis. There are times when my craving for affection is like an extreme thirst—like how I get after taking some of my medicine, which makes my tongue as dry as dust . Try as I might, I just can’t quench the thirst.